THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

(ALTERNATE TITLE - THE HORNY MEN WITH NO MERCY)

Oh what ails thee, damsel in distress.
Alone and palely loitering
The sun has set; the birds returned to their nest
Now darkness has made everything to rest

Oh what ails thee, damsel in distress.
Alone and palely loitering
Without your foundation or your bright make up
You sure look pretty fucked up

Oh what ails thee, damsel in distress.
Alone and palely loitering
Have you been dumped though you were true
Or were you cursed by the Men you turned blue?

Oh what ails thee, damsel in distress.
Alone and palely loitering
You drama queen; your tantrums and all your fuss
Has led you to being alone thus

Oh what ails thee, damsel in distress.
Alone and palely loitering
Your lust and sex is the cause of all your distress
Without love sex can turn into a mess

Oh what ails thee, damsel in distress.
Alone and palely loitering
You assumed you could conquer all with sex
but became a play toy and everyone’s ex

Oh what ails thee, damsel in distress.
Alone and palely loitering
You stepped on men with your lust
Now you’re old and unloved will turn to dust

Oh what ails thee, damsel in distress.
Alone and palely loitering
“I sought love and offered my body” She said
“but these guys only wanted me to bed”

Oh what ails thee, damsel in distress.
Alone and palely loitering
“I only sought happiness”, She said
“but these  guys ended up messing my head”

Oh what ails thee, damsel in distress.
Alone and palely loitering
“to fall in love and to be loved, I was hasty
And ended up with horny men who had no mercy”

I now know what ails thee, damsel in distress.
Alone, lonely and palely loitering
I hope you’ll now learn with horny Men not to mess
For I know the knights who caused this, I can guess

I know Keats must now be turning over in his grave and I request his spirit to forgive me for murdering his verse.....